Reflections on a Stash

I had a crummy week. Work was hell in that way that makes you come home and collapse in a heap on the sofa. I was so mentally exhausted that I couldn't even contemplate going for a single run. I almost didn't even bother knitting, but ultimately decided that if I was going to take up permanent residency on the sofa, I might as well have something in my hands. (I did manage to get all the buttons sewn onto Presto Chango, and I located my three balls of Dream in Colour Classy that I had lost somewhere in my mess. It wasn't all bad.)

By Wednesday morning, I was a wreck.  I was bitchy and cranky and really just wanted to crawl into bed and wake up Friday night when the stupidity would be over. That morning I had to venture into the closet that holds my stash for something non-knitting related and realized, as I stood there, that my stash was a prefect reflection of my life as I was perceiving it at that moment. It was overwhelming, unbalanced, and out of control. It was a direct reflection of my guilt about everything I have yet to  accomplish in my life and anything that I have messed up along the way. My stash and my life were a both a gaint mess.  (Like I said, I was a cranky girl Wednesday morning.)

Now that my rational brain has returned, I think that it's an interesting question; What is a stash, really? And what does it say about the knitter? Is it a sneak peek into the deepest darkest parts of their personality or a direct reflection of their daily lives?

On the surface, my stash is the exact opposite of my daily life. Both my boss and my husband tell me that I have a “Type A” personality. I claim that I am organized, not “Type A.” (My husband has pointed out that my denial is very typical of “Type A's.) I like things organized, when they can be. I like having a plan and am willing to alter the plan if necessary, but I firmly believe life is easier with a plan. I don’t colour co-ordinate my underwear, but I do like to know what time I'm meeting my BFF for brunch more then 2 hours in advance. My stash, in it's current state has none of these qualities. It is not organized and it is lacking a clear plan. So I asked myself is how did this happen?

First is the gifted yarn. It's a gift and even if it's not something that I super love, it goes into the stash. I feel like I have to knit with it, even more so if a story accompanies the yarn. Someone I know took time out of their lives to give me something that they are really excited about. That means a lot and makes it all that more precious. So that's sentimental, (which is odd 'cause there are very few things I'm like that about.) Then there's the destashing yarn from my BFF. Even though I know that my BFF is a very environmentally conscious person, and that anything that others didn't want would be donated to the Yardage Sale to support our local textile museum, I felt the need to “rescue” some of it. If it's with me, then I know that it will go to good use. (Okay, that might be a little Type A coming through there.) Next is the stress release yarn. The yarn you buy when you are feeling emotional or vulnerable.There's more then a few of these in my stash.  This type of yarn is what has prompted my “cold sheep” pledge. It is way to dangerous for both my closet space and my credit card. There is of course project yarn that is bought with a specific goal in mind, but that very rarely becomes stash. And then there's the yarn you have to buy because it's so damn pretty and who doesn't love pretty things. So really, my personality is reflected in that mess. It's just buried in there with all the yarn.

Happily, now that my week is over, and I am a little more balanced, I have a new outlook on my current stash situation. Now, it's not so much a mess. It's a really big challenge. And that is defiantly part of my personality. There is nothing that gets me motivated more then a good challenge.